


...and skate fast (or, on ironies in life)

by lizzielka



Category: The Misfits (Podcast)
Genre: Crack-ish, Established Relationship, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rimming, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 01:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19758100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzielka/pseuds/lizzielka
Summary: matt doesn't like the concept of eating ass.everyone knows that.especiallyhis boyfriend, of all people....but it isn't unlike cameron to be mischievous this early in the morning





	...and skate fast (or, on ironies in life)

**Author's Note:**

> all the funnies™ i experienced while writing this can be found at the end.
> 
> not proofread. constructive criticism welcome!!
> 
> feel free to look at my shitposts over on [tumblr](irukovo.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/irukovo).

cameron wakes up to his right leg asleep. he and matt must’ve rolled over in their sleep, seeing as they were almost properly spooning now instead of laying with matt’s head tucked underneath the kiwi’s chin. cam carefully frees his leg, opting to hook the other one over the american’s hips instead, pressing small kisses all over his neck, down to the collar of a loose sleep shirt. matt stirs a bit and turns his head, eyes half lidded.  
“morning,“ cameron kisses him on the cheek, getting a sleepy smile in return, “we should probably go get breakfast.”  
matt rolls back to his original position: “no.”  
cam props himself up on an elbow in response.  
“why not?”  
“i want more sleep.”  
“and i want food, you lazy bitch.”  
matt rolls over even further, onto his stomach, one leg bent to the side, shirt rolled up and offering a peek at the boxers he was wearing. “then get off my dick and eat my ass.” the snark is somewhat muffled by the fact it was spoken into a pillow.  
the kiwi snorted, “can do both, though i thought you hated eating ass.”  
“i do,” matt said into the pillow, louder this time; he yelled, almost, “please do not actually eat my ass.”  
“again, why nooot?” cameron was mock-pouting.  
“it’s gross and unhygienic.”  
“don’t tell me you didn’t wash your ass yesterday.”  
“i did, thank you very much for asking.” matt vaguely notices his boyfriend moving around on the bed to rub at his thigh.  
“had chipotle in the last like… i don’t know, week?”  
“...no?” a weight settles on the american’s lower back, gentle, reassuring, combined with a pair of hands rubbing his shoulders through the shirt.  
“then why not let me try it? we can stop anytime, you’ll enjoy it, you know, all that jazz.” the hands moved onto his neck, thumbs pressing slight circles into the nape. matt sighs.  
“...i guess.” he pushes his face further into the pillow.  
“matt, love, we don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable, there are-” he slides lower, pushing his crotch into matt's ass to accentuate his point, “-other things to do, y'know?” matt turns his face to look up into cameron's, the two of them sharing a soft smile.  
“alright, you horny… “ the american illustrates his point further with a vague hand gesture, and then props himself up a little, reaching the hand into a bedside drawer, pulling out a pack of wipes and a bottle of lube, ears reddening. cam stiffles a giggle at the sight, earning a sharp, embarrassed stare thrown his way. he lifts his arms in defeat.  
“hey, hey, calm down, if this makes you more comfortable then sure, go ahead, but,” taking the wipes, he gets off the bed, dragging matt along, closer to the edge, “i haven't seen you blush because of anything sex-related in fucking ages.” matt attempts to swat him, the flush getting deeper by the minute, spreading to his face.  
cameron isn't really in reach, having settled on the floor, head propped up on his boyfriend's outstretched leg, hand running up and down the bent one.  
“relax, baby.” he kneeled properly, massaging matt's thighs as he slides his hands higher, and then finally pulling off his boxers, narrowly avoiding a kick in the head as matt is forced to stretch the other leg out too. cam reaches out for the wipes and tugs one out. his mouth is on matt's thigh, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses, biting here and there, barely a scrape of teeth. 

meanwhile, matt is _so_ out of it. his entire body is prickling with nervosity, muscles tense, though some of the tension got out of his system. sure, the constant massaging - not to mention the fact that cameron actually did use the wipes without much more ado - helped a bit, but not enough, and damn it, why is he so stressed anyway? it isn’t like they haven’t tried things before, but this--  
his thoughts faded away, somewhat, as cam's tongue pressed flat onto his entrance, slowly licking. the kiwi is holding his cheeks spread, alternating between slow licks and teasing presses of the tip of the tongue against the hole, hitting the nerve endings just so well to make matt’s eyes roll back, having forced a whimper out of him. cameron squeezes his ass in acknowledgement of the sound, his tongue goes deeper, working him open with swirls and in and out motions, fucking him, and the american is achingly hard, but just this isnt enough, his hips jerk in short stutters, going in for the friction of the mattress on his cock, and then immediately back to the probing tongue. cam attempted a chuckle that only came out as hot air, causing the american to cry out into the pillow and try and push further back, only stopping when held in place firmly by the hands squeezing his thighs. one of the hands is gently caressing him, slowly feeling his ass up again, nails scraping lightly.  
cameron leans back ever so slightly, picking up the half-forgotten lube, spreading some onto his fingers to warm it up, circling the entrance with one, gently pushing in. matt melts under the touch, the head of his cock - pressed uncomfortably onto the bed - dripping precum. the kiwi laughs, adding the tongue back to lick around the two fingers stretching his boyfriend, curling just so to hit his prostate, and matt swears he can see stars, coming between his stomach pressed flat to the bed and the sheets, fucking himself on the fingers to ride through the orgasm.  
cameron has leaned forward and wrapped a hand around his torso, putting kisses down wherever he can reach, dragging matt into his lap to press a kiss to his temple. matt’s eyes are closed, face red, but he gestures for his boyfriend to get up and cam obeys, sitting on the bed and closing his eyes for a few seconds.

when he opens them again, he finds that matt's slid down to kneel between his legs, looking somewhat disheveled still, pupils blown wide and lips puffed and slick with saliva. cameron bends forward for an open mouthed kiss - it's short and significantly sweeter than either of them expected - and cups the american's face with one hand, letting him break the kiss whenever he feels like it.  
matt's hands have settled on his boyfriend's hips, creeping towards his crotch, so cameron just leans back on his elbows and watches as matt pulls his briefs just low enough for the darkened erection to spring free. matt licks his lips, leaning forward to swirl his tongue around the head, taking it into his mouth, sucking slightly, looking up to see cam’s relaxed face. one of his hands moves to dig crescents into the kiwi’s thigh and he feels a hand slide in the hair at the back of his head, just resting there, posing a question, so the american breathes in through his nose, letting himself get pushed lower, spit running down his chin where his lips aren’t wrapped around the cock as tight. the hand gripped his hair, turning his head enough so cameron feels the outline of the head of his own dick as he touches matt’s left cheek.  
he lets out a satisfied hum, letting the man kneeling between his legs set the pace, move from sloppy to his usual confident in mere moments; and then the hand in his hair tightens into a vice-like grip, tugging sharply at his hair, before the kiwi goes slack and lets go. 

matt leans back on his heels, wiping his chin. he's staring at cameron, who stares right back with a grin.  
"ended up enjoying it, didn't you?" he poses a rhetorical question.  
matt decides to just smack his calf.

**Author's Note:**

> i only have good ideas, so of course i came up with a somewhat cracky ass eating fitorious fic in the middle of trying to finish an art class project!
> 
> fun fact: this took me like... month and a half to finish, because in the meantime:  
> \- i had to finish the aforementioned art class project (and got an A-)  
> \- study for jpn class exam (failed that one)  
> \- finals happened  
> \- i slacked off on tumblr  
> \- got entirely too distressed due to fitz looking like humpty fucking dumpty!


End file.
